


The Last Will and Testament of Yosuke Hanamura

by WeirdoWithABeardo



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, Poor Yosuke, he died for our sins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdoWithABeardo/pseuds/WeirdoWithABeardo
Summary: Based off of the skit known as "Boot To The Head"





	The Last Will and Testament of Yosuke Hanamura

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Last Will](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/299448) by The Frantics. 



Yu: As the executor of Mr. Hanamura's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Hanamura's Last Will and Testament.  
Dojima: Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.  
Chie: Oh, poor, dear Yosuke! Waaaa!  
Kou: Oh, there, there, Chie.  
Naoto: God, how predictably boring.  
Saki: I never worked for a kinder man.  
Yu: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.  
Naoto: I knew it.  
Dojima: Heh heh heh heh.  
Yu: "I, Yosuke Hanamura, being of sound mind and body..."  
Dojima: That's a laugh!  
Yu: "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To the overly emotional, Chie..."  
Chie: Waaaa!  
Kou: Chie, darling, he's talking about us.  
Chie: Oh.  
Yu: "...who grubbed with her husband, Kou, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."  
Chie: What?  
Yu: "...To Chie, I leave a boot to the head."  
Chie: A what?

*BONK!*

Chie: Ow!  
Kou: Chie, are you okay?  
Yu: "...and another boot to her wimpy husband, Kou."

*BONK!*

Kou: Ow!  
Dojima: Hahahahaha...  
Chie: This is an outrage!  
Yu: "...ah, but still, you are my friend, you have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it..."  
Chie: Oh, dear Yosuke, he's too kind!  
Kou: Yes.  
Yu: "...I bequeath another boot to the head."  
Chie: What?

*BONK!*

Chie: Ow!  
Dojima: Hahahaha...  
Yu: "And one more for the wimp."

*BONK!*

Kou: Ow!  
Yu: "Next, to my alcoholic uncle of my best friend..."  
Dojima: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!  
Yu: "...to dear Dojima, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."  
Dojima: I'm coverin' up my head!  
Yu: "...I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey."  
Dojima: Really?  
Yu: "And a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

Dojima: OH!  
Yu: "And another for Chie and the wimp."

*BONK!*

Chie: Oh!

*BONK!*

Kou: Ow!  
Yu: "Next, to my know-it-all underclassman, Naoto..."  
Naoto: This is so predictable...  
Yu: "...I leave a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

Naoto: Uh! I knew it.  
Yu: "And one for Chie and the wimp."  
*BONK!*  
Chie: Ah!

*BONK!*

Kou: OH!  
Yu: "This takes care of acquaintance obligations. And now, to Saki..."  
Saki: Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.  
Yu: "...who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..."  
Saki: Oh, I didn't mind.  
Yu: "To Saki, I bequeath a boot to the head."

*BONK!*

Saki: OH!  
Yu: "And one for Chie and the wimp."  
*BONK!*  
Chie: AH!

*BONK!*

Kou: OH!  
Yu: "And so, to my bear Teddie, I leave my entire vast...boot to the head!"

*BONK!*  
*GROWL!*

Yu: "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head...but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "...and I leave my entire estate of $10 million to the people of Inaba so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.  
Kou: Is that it?  
Naoto: That's it?  
Dojima: That's disgraceful.  
Yu: There's one last thing for everyone.  
Dojima: Cover your heads, everybody!  
Yu: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of topsicles."  
Kou: Topsicles?  
Dojima: Topsicles?  
Naoto: Topsicles, that's all?  
Yu: That's all.  
Saki: Well, what flavor is it?  
Yu: Boot to the head!

*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*

All: OW!


End file.
